So it's been quite a while since my last blog - more than 18 months in fact! During which time quite a lot has happened in my life. We are almost the proud owners of a fabulous new house which is almost complete, and I have made an awesome Christmas memory-making trip to New York with my favourite people, to see another favourite person - all family!
Where to begin....? Ok, if you ever build your own home, the first thing that people will tell you is that it is the most stressful thing you will ever do, and that if your relationship survives it you will be amazingly lucky. Well, I don't really know what all the fuss is about! It has actually been a relatively smooth running process, apart from lack of service delivery (endemic in the Cape!), and a strike or two & some shocking service (or lack thereof) by the transferring attorney. So, after waiting for a straightforward & relatively simple transfer of land that took seven (yes, you heard me - 7!) months, we broke ground on 18th April 2013. Our builder informed us that our house would take 3 to 4 months to build, and we are now in our 6th month. Yes, we had the winter weather problems, and a 3 week strike to contend with, but really? So now we are nearing the final stages, the builder tells us he will be done within a week with everything he has to do, so we arrange for the under floor heating to go in 10 days later, and 3 days after that for the flooring to be laid, and finally - the kitchen to be fitted. Now, a week down the line, the plumbing is still not done, the electrician is not finished, the entrance gate has not been installed, and I am wondering what the hell happened to one week!!! This is the part that stresses me - WAITING!!!!
Apart from these irritations the whole process has been totally exciting & fantastic to experience. My partner and I have had no arguments about colours, tiles, design etc and have basically been in agreement about most things - so no domestics there. And now when we stand in that building & look around, we love what has transpired during this project, and honestly love everything about our new home-to-be. Now, if we could just get to move in, life would be perfect!!!
As for our trip to New York, what can I say but I LOVE the big apple. That city has a vibe like no other I have ever experienced - you cannot describe it adequately - you actually have to go & experience it. Needless to say my children fell head over hells in love with NYC too, and are plotting & scheming to live & work there one day. It does help having a sister who lives 20miles from Manhatten - a short & scenic train ride away. And she lives in a really beautiful part of Long Island, namely, Cold Spring Harbor. It's like being in the country when you live in the city, if that makes sense? All the advantages of rural living without all the painful parts. Close to shopping, shows & all the typical NYC landmarks, but away from the everyday rush of city life. It was a holiday of a lifetime & I cannot wait to go back again.
Andrew, you have serious competition my love, as I have totally fallen for NYC!
Tuesday, 1 October 2013
Friday, 3 February 2012
Victims!
Anybody who knows anything about me, knows that if there is one thing that REALLY irritates the c**p out if me (apart from liars), it is people who have the 'victim mentality'. And actually, my two pet hates go hand in hand. I have never been able to cope with the 'shame, poor me' attitude that so many people have. Recently, having spent quite a bit of time alone thinking about life and restoring my soul, I realised something about victims that I have never realised before. This was a complete revelation to me, and I found it quite mindblowing!
Victims are also complete manipulators! It is very hard for a 'survivor' to recognise manipulation for what it is - survivors are just not wired that way. They always tell it like it is, and spend hours analysing the situation & their own behaviour, before pointing fingers at anyone else. They relive the incident & admit where they went wrong, and then act accordingly. Victims, however, justify everything they do & say, with absolute lies & distortions of the truth, to paint themselves in the best light possible. They are so convincing, that they start to believe their own lies! And not only do they lie barefacedly, they know exactly how to manipulate a situation to suit their own ends. There is absolutely no remorse, no concern for who they may hurt, no social conscience - just an overwhelming need to be seen as the poor victim.
How to recognise a victim? Oh, it is SO easy, you have no idea. Anyone who is totally self-absorbed, selfish & unappreciative of anything or anbody else. A victim only ever thinks about themself, there is never any consideration of anybody else & the whole universe 'owes' them. They never take responsibility for their actions or words. A survivor will take life's knocks, try to learn from them & then move along & try to improve their situation - without laying the blame at anybody else's door. A victim will curl up into a ball & bemoan the cruelty of their life, and expect everybody around them to bail them out or help them. How sad that there are so many victims in the world today.
If you are ever in a situation where you knock heads with a victim - do yourself a HUGE favour, and do not even consider that you were wrong! As a survivor - it will be your natural instinct to analyse the whole situation & try to honestly see it from the other person's point of view. You may realise that you perhaps reacted a bit heatedly, or said something that you wish you had not, but if you are fair on yourself you will realise that while you may have been a bit hotheaded, your reaction was perfectly normal for any person who was in that particular situation. We are all human after all - not saints or angels. Be assured that if you are a survivor, you will always question your actions & words - a victim does not ever do that. They are right - & you owe them. Simple as that! And remember, it is impossible for you to manipulate someone - you have NO idea how to. If you did, you would be the victim!!
There's a saying I read which about sums up the whole thing - the difference between an obstacle & an opportunity is your attitude. Take your positive attitude & FLY!
Victims are also complete manipulators! It is very hard for a 'survivor' to recognise manipulation for what it is - survivors are just not wired that way. They always tell it like it is, and spend hours analysing the situation & their own behaviour, before pointing fingers at anyone else. They relive the incident & admit where they went wrong, and then act accordingly. Victims, however, justify everything they do & say, with absolute lies & distortions of the truth, to paint themselves in the best light possible. They are so convincing, that they start to believe their own lies! And not only do they lie barefacedly, they know exactly how to manipulate a situation to suit their own ends. There is absolutely no remorse, no concern for who they may hurt, no social conscience - just an overwhelming need to be seen as the poor victim.
How to recognise a victim? Oh, it is SO easy, you have no idea. Anyone who is totally self-absorbed, selfish & unappreciative of anything or anbody else. A victim only ever thinks about themself, there is never any consideration of anybody else & the whole universe 'owes' them. They never take responsibility for their actions or words. A survivor will take life's knocks, try to learn from them & then move along & try to improve their situation - without laying the blame at anybody else's door. A victim will curl up into a ball & bemoan the cruelty of their life, and expect everybody around them to bail them out or help them. How sad that there are so many victims in the world today.
If you are ever in a situation where you knock heads with a victim - do yourself a HUGE favour, and do not even consider that you were wrong! As a survivor - it will be your natural instinct to analyse the whole situation & try to honestly see it from the other person's point of view. You may realise that you perhaps reacted a bit heatedly, or said something that you wish you had not, but if you are fair on yourself you will realise that while you may have been a bit hotheaded, your reaction was perfectly normal for any person who was in that particular situation. We are all human after all - not saints or angels. Be assured that if you are a survivor, you will always question your actions & words - a victim does not ever do that. They are right - & you owe them. Simple as that! And remember, it is impossible for you to manipulate someone - you have NO idea how to. If you did, you would be the victim!!
There's a saying I read which about sums up the whole thing - the difference between an obstacle & an opportunity is your attitude. Take your positive attitude & FLY!
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
How I love crafting with abalone shells
Being a strictly logical personality type, working with my hands has never been easy for me. Knitting, sewing etc., where I can follow a set of instructions - yes, but creative stuff, forget it. I found a supplier of these abalone shells recently, and they have really inspired me to become creative with a glue gun & a few odds & ends. And plus, now it never matters if I get arrested, as I have burnt all the prints off my fingertips with the glue gun! Have since learnt to work with a glass of ice water next to me to dip my fingers into when there is a blob of really hot glue stuck to my fingertip!
Apart from that....I now have a bathroom filled with mirrors, tissue holders, toothbrush holders etc etc covered in abalone shells, and am inspired daily to try new ideas & am even getting a bit of an imagination in my old age. If anyone is interested in getting hold of these shells (the pieces & the 'lips' are both available in a variety of different colours, including natural) please let me know & I will see what I can do about getting some to you. I have included some of my 'creations'!
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