Victims!

Anybody who knows anything about me, knows that if there is one thing that REALLY irritates the c**p out if me (apart from liars), it is people who have the 'victim mentality'. And actually, my two pet hates go hand in hand. I have never been able to cope with the 'shame, poor me' attitude that so many people have. Recently, having spent quite a bit of time alone thinking about life and restoring my soul, I realised something about victims that I have never realised before. This was a complete revelation to me, and I found it quite mindblowing!

Victims are also complete manipulators! It is very hard for a 'survivor' to recognise manipulation for what it is - survivors are just not wired that way. They always tell it like it is, and spend hours analysing the situation & their own behaviour, before pointing fingers at anyone else. They relive the incident & admit where they went wrong, and then act accordingly. Victims, however, justify everything they do & say, with absolute lies & distortions of the truth, to paint themselves in the best light possible. They are so convincing, that they start to believe their own lies! And not only do they lie barefacedly, they know exactly how to manipulate a situation to suit their own ends. There is absolutely no remorse, no concern for who they may hurt, no social conscience - just an overwhelming need to be seen as the poor victim.

How to recognise a victim? Oh, it is SO easy, you have no idea. Anyone who is totally self-absorbed, selfish & unappreciative of anything or anbody else. A victim only ever thinks about themself, there is never any consideration of anybody else & the whole universe 'owes' them. They never take responsibility for their actions or words. A survivor will take life's knocks, try to learn from them & then move along & try to improve their situation - without laying the blame at anybody else's door. A victim will curl up into a ball & bemoan the cruelty of their life, and expect everybody around them to bail them out or help them. How sad that there are so many victims in the world today.

If you are ever in a situation where you knock heads with a victim - do yourself a HUGE favour, and do not even consider that you were wrong! As a survivor - it will be your natural instinct to analyse the whole situation & try to honestly see it from the other person's point of view. You may realise that you perhaps reacted a bit heatedly, or said something that you wish you had not, but if you are fair on yourself you will realise that while you may have been a bit hotheaded, your reaction was perfectly normal for any person who was in that particular situation. We are all human after all - not saints or angels.  Be assured that if you are a survivor, you will always question your actions & words - a victim does not ever do that. They are right - & you owe them. Simple as that! And remember, it is impossible for you to manipulate someone  - you have NO idea how to. If you did, you would be the victim!!

There's a saying I read which about sums up the whole thing - the difference between an obstacle & an opportunity is your attitude. Take your positive attitude & FLY!

How I love crafting with abalone shells

Being a strictly logical personality type, working with my hands has never been easy for me. Knitting, sewing etc., where I can follow a set of instructions - yes, but creative stuff, forget it. I found a supplier of these abalone shells recently, and they have really inspired me to become creative with a glue gun & a few odds & ends. And plus, now it never matters if I get arrested, as I have burnt all the prints off my fingertips with the glue gun! Have since learnt to work with a glass of ice water next to me to dip my fingers into when there is a blob of really hot glue stuck to my fingertip!

Apart from that....I now have a bathroom filled with mirrors, tissue holders, toothbrush holders etc etc covered in abalone shells, and am inspired daily to try new ideas & am even getting a bit of an imagination in my old age. If anyone is interested in getting hold of these shells (the pieces & the 'lips' are both available in a variety of different colours, including natural) please let me know & I will see what I can do about getting some to you. I have included some of my 'creations'!